The Real Reason the Chicken Crossed the Road


Erin Bryant, Press Release Editor

Everybody has heard of the famous, “Why did the chicken cross the street?” joke. Throughout the years there have been answers to this infamous question. The chicken’s motive has remained a mystery- up until now. Cease the drum rolls because the chicken’s secret has been figured out; the chicken is a rebel.

  1. In Quitman, Georgia, chickens may not cross the road. This law is still in effect today. This year may be the year for chicken rights.
  2. In North Carolina, it is illegal to sing off-key. Obviously this law is not heavily enforced as karaoke bars still exist in the area.

“I guess I won’t be allowed into North Carolina. I am notorious for my singing,” Brianna Reyes, freshman, said.

  1. Currently, in the state of Florida, owners of establishments where alcohol is sold may be fined up to $1,000 for participationor giving permission to have any contest involving dwarf-tossing. The bar fad of tossing little people caught on in southern parts of the state and originated in Australia. The original law was made in 1989. A Florida state legislator tried to repeal the law in 2011 but wasn’t successful.

“I see the logic in this rule. People should not throw midgets. It’s not right,” Daniela Jaramillo, sophomore, said.

  1. Mississippi is not a state for cussing sailors. Using profanity in front of two or more persons in a public place may result in 30 days in the stony lonesome. The alternative is a big reparation to the swear jar of $100 or less.
  2. There is a law in Gainesville, Georgia that states it is illegal to eat fried chicken with utensils other than hands. In 2009, an elderly woman was almost arrested for using a fork. Apparently, Georgia is not a very chicken-friendly state.
  3. Since 1973 it has been illegal to carry away or collect seaweed at night in New Hampshire. The punishment is unspecific, but perhaps fresh sushi is worth a small fine.
  4. If a person is found stealing soap in Mohave, Arizona, he or she must wash their body until the bar of soap has been completely used up. This law is used because police officers deeply care about prisoners.
  5. Some organizations in North Carolina have laws stating that bingo games can last only up to five hours. Alas, this is not the only restriction on the game: only one game can be played in a 48-hour period and no more than a $500 prize can be collected. This law was probably made to foil the evil plans of ex-mafia, bingo-addicted seniors.
  6. In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk. Assuredly, the legislators were trying to protect the animals and apprehend human stupidity all at one.
  7. While the rights of chicken are trampled upon in this nation, people can be arrested or fined for arresting the mythical creature known as Bigfoot. Will there ever be justice for the noble chicken?

“This law is completely insane, yet I understand it. I love chicken. I would never eat a Bigfoot even if I had the chance,” said Coach Millio.

These laws are all in use today, so make sure that you are not an accidental criminal. Keep your chickens protected and stay safe.