Smoking in Schools (And Why it’s Affecting Our Bladders)

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Kelsey Foster

Kelsey Foster, Humor Editor

Shocking absolutely no one, kids are participating in the inhalation of illegal substances on school property, and while the drug use in itself is becoming an increasingly imminent problem for our youth,  “6.4 percent of high school seniors in the United States” have participated in the scandalous, however mundane acts, as according to Kaiser Health. The issue that is most greatly affecting the population of Wellington High School is overbearing restroom lock downs.

There is no need to put a spotlight on the school’s most infamous and quite obvious druggies, the issue stands with the location of said act.

Whoever thought that the bathroom was the holy land for the transferring of THC, cigarette smoke, and human excrement needs a serious intervention. First of all, the bathroom is probably the most poorly ventilated facility in the school, even worse than Ms. Mark’s room, and the thought of getting away without any staff member noticing deserves a humor column in of itself.

In attempt to quarantine the drug use, administration has denied access to most loos on campus however, when one is traveling from Mr. Sidway’s Government class to Mr. Zucker’s isolated corner of “misunderstood” teens it is fairly safe to assume relieving oneself of the three gallons of Mountain Dew, consumed to stay awake during first hour instead of taking senior privilege, is not going to happen. Remember the time when we all were acquainted with our johns? Had a special stall that always had enough one-ply toilet paper? The times are changing.

Neglecting the clear downsides of drug and tobacco use, second hand smoke from marijuana and cigarettes in bathrooms creates a harsh environment for students with breathing problems. Asthma, a prime example, can be triggered by the smoke, and students without inhalers could potentially suffer from attacks. The sensation of breathing through a straw appeals to absolutely no one, yet illegal inhaling  runs rampant. Not only does smoking in school damage school property, it also damages the lungs of others.

The smell of pot and cigarette smoke permeating our very school’s walls leaves nothing but constant reminders of poor decisions and Cheeto fingers. We get it, AICE General Papers is a very difficult class and, indeed, that teacher “aint’ givin’ you no respect,” but nothing in the school curriculum constitutes participating in illegal acts in our bathrooms. Allow each and every student to alleviate the burden of a full bladder and let the chorus of toilet flushing encompass every hallway. Leave the drugs to be found by your mother, not an AP.