Inconsiderate Student Sharpens Pencil During Test

Inconsiderate Student Sharpens Pencil During Test

Kelsey Foster

Kelsey Foster, Humor Editor

With finals ominously creeping towards reality, tests have been assigned more frequently in an effort to secure grades before the fate of the semester is determined.  After hours of tedious preparation, it appears that during Ms. Cooperman’s first hour last Wednesday, a student sharpened a pencil mid essay, blocking the thought processes of the entire class.

“I could not believe that such a nicely dressed individual could do such a thing,” Natalie Thurston, senior, remarked, “He and his perfect hair, I was shocked he had the audacity to commit such a crime.”

News of the incident traveled quickly through the guidance department’s student aids.

“I was honestly astonished by what I walked into,” Chris Noel, senior added, “he was obnoxious, just standing there, sharpening his pencil.”

The sharpening of the pencil created such a distraction that neighboring teacher Mrs. Unser, noted that, “my students completely stopped signing and their finger spelling suffered greatly.”

Distractions are not unique to the classroom; however nothing as serious as a pencil-sharpening situation has risen since the opening of the school in 1989.

“I only heard about the incident through rumors,” Mr. Hoard stated, “needless to say, I am glad I wasn’t there.”

The pencil-sharpening incident of ‘89, dubbed “The Roaring Pencil Incident,” was the reason behind the many school rules against cell phone use.

“Contrary to popular belief,” a school administrator asserted, “cell phone use wasn’t even the issue. We didn’t want another “RPI”. It was such a distraction that it took four years for the freshman to get their acts together. The graduating class was one of the smallest in Wellington High’s history.”

Ultimately, the student responsible has received disciplinary actions against his crime, and students are pleased to see administrators carry out the punishment to the fullest.

“My grade suffered because of him,” Chloe Kessel, senior commented, “my essay on “The Awakening” could have gotten a nine, but I’m sure Cooperman will understand.”

Cooperman is on record saying that “those essays were awful,” but is considering re-administering the essay prompts for a take home version.