School Bathrooms Smell: This Title Isn’t Too Clever


Danny Smith, Humor Columnist

School bathrooms: the reason many kids sweat uncomfortably in 7th hour. The graffiti found in the bathrooms is horrendous. It’s like those kids who used to take pride in insulting random people anonymously aren’t even trying anymore. While the graffiti school-wide has depreciated in value, the rooms that house the graffiti have also taken its toll over the years.

Unbecomingly filthy, by no fault of the janitors, school bathrooms have taken the brunt of an assault by kids who litter, hide during classes, happen to have a sharpie marker, or just really love to not aim for the toilet. Grotesque descriptions aside, those bathrooms are nasty. Groddy grout and locks for stalls that don’t work are just some of the subtle nuances that plague students trying to just use the can.

School bathrooms are never depicted as sanitary. In movies, comics, cartoons, and now school newspapers, school bathrooms have gotten an increasingly awful rep. This steers away many students, mostly boys (girls seem to be better about cleanliness for bathrooms (yes, that means I was in a girl’s bathroom (no, nobody was in there (yeah, I should stop using parenthesis)))), as an uncleanly bathroom could put an engorged bladder at unease.

Possible positive effects of the bathrooms being totally gross, however, could include
-Lack of Bullies giving kids swirlies (if those are even still a thing)
-More kids wanting to get in and out quickly, minimizing lost learning time
-A funny enough for me to write an article about.

Even if its facilities don’t facilitate comfort, the sinks are out to get that one awkward spot on your clothing wet EVERY TIME, and you occasionally catch a whiff of something from the hallway, school bathrooms have mirrors that work. That’s pretty much it. Mirrors.