Studying Tips For The People Who Weren’t Creative Enough To Come Up With Their Own Ideas

Daniel Smith, Humor Columnist

Sometimes, cramming just doesn’t cut it. Many students have ignored the warnings of their respective teachers to do things like “read the chapters every night” or to “look on Edline for help” or even “care about the class.” PSH, caring. Anyway, through an extensive effort, I’ve set forth some interesting ideas towards studying that may just make a student want to read the book with conviction instead of waking up two hours later on a drool-covered page.

Study Technique #1: According to the laws of psychology (those may not be real,) the human brain has an easier time remembering certain facts or information while in a similar physical or mental state. Therefore, studying hungry for tests and taking said test hungry may increase recollection.
-Application: While my stomach cried for mercy and gurgled embarrassingly to my APUSH class last year, my grade gleefully accepted the occasional information that popped up. If you’ve got a will of steel (mine was plexiglass so I bought $10 worth of lunch) or a deep wallet (see previous words in parenthesis), this method is pretty useful.

Secret Method of Learning #2: Certain sensations other than physical state can trigger recall if one studies while under the same conditions.
-Application: I studied for an Anatomy test with a very tight (and stylish) rubber-band bracelet around my wrist. I like to think the loss of circulation around my left hand helped blood flow to my brain. Additionally, the sensation of having a hand asleep, the familiar itch and winces it left me with were not only obnoxious, but imprinted in my mind many of the functions of the intestines. I don’t recommend putting a tight bracelet over the hand one writes with, however, as your hand would be replaced with a red orb of pain in the attempt to jot down even one thought that came to you.

Learnification Mastery part #3: A positive attitude is less suici… er… less harmful to the body than the other mentioned techniques. Studying while thinking “Man, I can totally do this” is beneficial. However, while studying something, don’t think it’s just “easy” and can be forgotten, but rather that the information is truly within your understanding… even if it isn’t. Mind over matter.
-Application: Thinking of positive reinforcement works. While my grades weren’t skyrocketing, my willingness to study went up. This, in itself, is directly related to doing well in school. That’s right kiddies, studying isn’t just something that happens in a montage before the big test.

NUMBER FOUR (#4): Think about it. Those words you just read sure seem fine and dandy, yes. What do they mean? “If the next sentence that was a question that honestly asked to re-explain the entire paragraph previously before it, how would you fare?” This kind of question is one an avid studier must ask themselves often. Studying means that information has been absorbed like a sponge, and can be repeated in a seconds notice. For example: when Spongebob cries, he not only absorbs the water he cries, he can spit it out of various sponge-holes, his eyes, his mouth…. honestly, this analogy is probably only here because I love Spongebob. I love Spongebob.
-Application: If a wordy, verbose, loquacious, complex algorithmic algorithm or paragraph appears in one’s field of vision, fret not, take the time to re-read it once, twice, enough times to be able to put it into new, easier words.

Hawaii Five-O, the fifth one in the list(#5): Google is your friend. I’m not even kidding, just Google ideas and use web resources if textbooks don’t help. There are thousands upon thousands of educational websites, videos and tutorials created by organizations who really want to help students (or lonely guys who live in their basements and have nothing better to do but show off their MAD CALC SKILLS, YO.)
-Application: I live on Google.

Nikki Sixx, he’s still alive? (#6): Experiment! If studying in your own unique way happens to be relevant, continue that. I know so many kids who write note cards, put sticky notes next to important ideas in the textbook, sleep through class to avoid confusing teachers (I honestly don’t recommend this one, but when all else fails…) and even think of little songs to remember lists.
-Final notes from me, the cool guy you’re still reading from (thanks by the way): I had to interact with other people enough to learn that these kids did these things. Take my advice, take other kid’s advice, make your own advice and share it with your friends. Getting great grades greatly gives one a sense of gratitude to whomever is responsible. Whether it’s the person studying hard or the guy writing for the Wellington Wave, a grade comes from the heart……

and your classwork, test, and quiz averages.